If you've ever felt like different parts of you want different things, like one part wants to stay home while another craves adventure, you're not imagining it. This natural multiplicity is the core idea behind a revolutionary approach to mental health: internal family systems (IFS) therapy.
IFS therapy is a type of psychotherapy that works with these inner parts to help you heal from past wounds and feel more balanced. Developed by psychologist Richard Schwartz in the 1980s, this approach views the mind as a system of subpersonalities, each with its own perspective and role in protecting the individual.
The Basic Idea
IFS therapy starts with a simple but powerful concept: You're made up of multiple parts. These aren't disorders or signs of something wrong. They're normal aspects of being human.
Each part has good intentions, even when its behavior seems problematic. For example, a part that makes you procrastinate might actually be trying to protect you from potential failure or criticism. Another part might push you to work constantly because it believes that's how you stay safe or worthy.
At your core, according to IFS therapy, is what Schwartz calls the Self. This is your true essence; it is calm, curious, compassionate, and confident. When you're operating from the Self, you can lead your internal system with composure and objectivity.
How Your Parts Show Up
IFS therapy identifies three main types of parts:
Exiles are young, vulnerable parts that carry pain from past experiences. They hold feelings like shame, fear, and loneliness that feel too overwhelming to face directly.
Managers are protective parts that try to keep you in control and prevent exiles from being triggered. They might show up as your inner critic with perfectionist tendencies or people-pleasing behaviors.
Firefighters jump into action when exiles get activated despite the managers' best efforts. These parts use more extreme tactics—things like binge eating, substance use, or angry outbursts—to numb or distract from emotional pain.
What Happens in an IFS Session
During IFS therapy sessions, your therapist helps you get to know your parts without overthinking it. You'll learn to notice when a part is activated and understand what it's trying to accomplish.
The process involves asking parts to step back slightly so you can access your Self. From this grounded place, you can communicate with parts directly. This might sound unusual, but it's surprisingly natural once you try it.
You'll develop compassion for parts you've previously tried to suppress or ignore. By understanding their fears and burdens, you can help them release old roles that no longer work. This process is called unburdening.
Why People Turn to IFS Therapy
IFS therapy has shown promise for treating trauma, anxiety, depression, and relationship issues. Research suggests it's particularly effective for complex trauma and conditions that haven't responded well to other approaches.
People appreciate that this therapy doesn't pathologize their experiences. Instead of labeling symptoms as problems to eliminate, IFS treats them as understandable responses from parts doing their best to help.
The approach also offers tools you can use outside of sessions. Once you learn the basic framework, you can engage with your parts on your own, making it an empowering long-term strategy.
Getting Started
You don't need to have severe trauma or a diagnosis to benefit from this type of treatment. Many people find it helpful simply for understanding themselves better and improving their relationships.
The adventure of getting to know your parts can be profound and surprising. You might discover that the behaviors you've criticized yourself for actually make perfect sense when you understand the parts behind them.
Ready to explore how this treatment could help you? Reach out, and we'll connect you with a therapist trained in IFS therapy for trauma. It's time to learn the true “you.”